YuYu Fairytalez
by Jam.MastahXJay
Summary: Pretty much what the title says. Parodies of Cinderella, Snow White, Sleepin' Beauty, and Rapunzel with the YuYu Gang... and JJ! :P
1. Cinderella

All right. My little cousins (five and seven) were here at my house, and we watched some crappy movies. I got this idea from watching said movies, and I had to write it all down. So, this is _my _version of said movies; Rapunzel, Cinderella, Snow White, and Sleepin' Beauty. The catch? It's with the YuYu gang. So you can imagine how fun it was writing this!

Hiei: Boo.

Oooh... First up is... Hiei, you pick out the name of the movie from Rinku's hat.

Rinku: Yeah, Hiei.

Hiei: Hn. (takes out a small paper) Umm... Cin-der-ell-a?

That's enough. You don't wanna use whatever brain power you have left to read a damn paper. OK, it's Cinderella! And a note, **I KNOW NONE OF THE CHARACTERS WOULD DO THIS, BUT HEY!! IT'S A FAIRY TALE!! IT'S LIKE... CLICHE AND... STUFF!! YOU KNOW, IT MAKES ME WONDER WHY I EVEN MADE THIS, AND WHY AM I USING BOLD? IT'S ANNOYING, SO I'MMA STOP!! **There, I feel better. :3

* * *

A small girl, age five, was playing with a horse, her father close-by. He was drooling over his soon-to-be wife, who was glaring at the girl, as well as her two, six year old daughters.

This girl, even though she was only five, was a beauty. She had mint green hair, was wearing a light blue dress, and always had a smile on her face. The little girl glanced at the two girls who were glaring at her. She shrugged and walked over to them.

"Hello Botan," the small girl said, extending a hand to one of the two little girls. Botan scowled at her.

"Yukina," she said, annoyed. Yukina jumped, and extending another hand to the little girl next to Botan.

"Hello Juri," Yukina greeted happily. Juri stuck her tongue out at her. Yukina sighed and walked away from them.

"What is it with her?" Juri asked Botan, crossing her arms.

"I dunno..." Botan tugged on her mother's dress. "Mother, can Juri and I go inside?" Her mother looked down at her.

"Uhh, sure. Go."

"Oh Shizuru, you're so beautiful," the man panted. Shizuru gave him a fake smile.

"Really?"

"Yes!"

"Thanks Youko." (Yeah! Youko's gonna be Yukina's dad! And Hiei ain't Yukina's bro! ... Aw, shit...) Shizuru smirked as Youko turned to his daughter.

_"Now I have to wait for the poison to kick in," _she thought smugly.

THE DREADED TIME SKIP, THIRTEEN YEARS LATER (Whoa...)

"Yukina, didja iron my shirt yet?" nineteen year old Juri asked boredly, looking at her nails. Eighteen year old Yukina gave her a white blouse and smiled.

"Yes." Juri eyed her and then left, scoffing. Yukina went back to ironing as her other stepsister, Botan, came running in, wearing a light pink robe.

"Hey! Where's my white skirt and black blouse?" she sputtered.

"I'm still ironing them," Yukina answered softly, ironing a black blouse and handing it to Botan.

"Well, hurry it up! I need to get dressed sometime today!"

"Yes Botan." Botan stormed out. Yukina started humming softly as she continued to iron the clothes. The window in the laundry room, where Yukina was in, opened. In came a girl with shoulder-length brown hair.

"Hey Yukina," she said casually, sitting on the floor. "Where's the mice you always play with?" Yukina sighed sadly.

"Shizuru kill them." OK, isn't this supposed to be a fairy tale? ... I thought it was, too.

"Geez. Cocky bitch. Anyway, you're kinda doin' a slow burn," the girl pointed out. Yukina looked at the shirt she was ironing, one of her raggy shirts, and saw that the iron burned a hole through it.

"Oh man... Well, it was one of my own shirts, so I'll be fine," Yukina said brightly.

"OK," the girl said, shrugging.

"Anyways, what brings you here? You're usually at the palace, Keiko." Keiko snapped her fingers.

"Oh yeah! That reminds me. The King and Queen are holdin' a ball at the palace Friday," she said, looking outside.

"Really? And why would I wanna know this?" Yukina asked, ironing the white skirt Botan needed. Keiko stared at Yukina funny.

"Duh! Because you could have a chance at royalty!" the brunette exclaimed, looking through her pockets. "Oh, dammit... Where are they?!" She searched through her clothes, and saw what she was looking for on the ground. She smacked her forehead.

"You alright?" Yukina asked worriedly, looking at her only friend. She laughed lightly.

"Of course. I'm gonna go through the front door. I'm supposed to give out the invites." She jumped on the windowsill. "Later, Yukina."

"Bye," Yukina sang. Shizuru was listening to their conversation the whole time. She scowled before walking away.

Keiko knocked on the door loudly.

"HELLO?!" she hollered, knocking away. Botan answered the door, scowling at the mailgirl.

"What is it?!" she asked irritabley.

"Here." Keiko gave her four invites and cleared her throat. "The King and Queen are gonna hold a ball at the palace, wants to invite everybody in the town, you know how it goes." Botan brightened up.

"Will the prince be there?!" she asked briskly. Keiko glared at her before a fake shocked expression was glued onto her face.

"Oh no! Prince Jin ain't gonna go to the ball that's revolved around him," she told the bluenette sarcastically before shaking her head and leaving.

"Well, no need for sarcasm!" Botan yelled at Keiko. She waved it off before walking down the dirt road.

"Well, who the hell was it?" Juri asked in her usual bored voice.

"That damn mailgirl, Keiko Yukimura," Botan said disgustedly before looking excited. "The King and Queen are holding a ball for the Prince, and they're inviting everyone!" Juri gasped.

"Really?!" Botan nodded.

"MOTHER!!" they screamed, running from the door and sprinting into the kitchen. Shizuru was drinking tea when they came running in.

"No need to yell," Shizuru said, flicking her light brown hair away from her face.

"We got invited to a ball!" the two girls exclaimed. Shizuru raised her eyebrow.

"All right..." Juri took the invites from Botan and counted them.

"Why're there four?" she asked her sister. Botan scoffed.

"She gave out an invite for Yukina also." Juri groaned.

"Guh-reat!" Shizuru shook her head and sipped some more tea. Yukina heard this and gulped. She walked towards the doorway silently, cleared her throat, and stared at them. The women didn't notice her, so she began to talk.

"C-c-could I g-go?" Silence. The three women looked towards the doorway, where a nervous Yukina was at. She gulped loudly. Juri and Botan glared at her. Shizuru thought for a moment.

"You can." Juri and Botan whipped around, staring at their mother like she went crazy. Yukina stared at Shizuru with hopeful crimson eyes.

"What?! Mother!" the two women said in a pouty voice. Shizuru stood up and put her hands on her hips.

"_If _you can complete all of your chores on Friday." Yukina nodded, grinning widely. The eighteen year old left the doorway, happier than ever.

"I'll get all of my chores done on Friday. I will." Yukina ran downstairs to the basement, where a small bed was at. She jumped on it and sighed happily.

FRIDAY...

It was sunrise when Yukina was woken up.

"You might as well get a headstart on your chores if you wanna go to the ball tonight," Shizuru sneered. That got Yukina furiously getting her clothes on.

Ever since Youko had died 'a mysterious death', Shizuru always made Yukina do everything. And instead of dresses, like her father had given her, they were all rag clothing.

But being the optimistic one, Yukina never gave the clothes a second thought.

"You need to do all these chores by tonight, before the ball," Shizuru said harshly. Yukina merely nodded, used to her harsh tone. She left a little after that, into the laundry room. She began to hand-wash the dirty laundry, humming softly.

The window opened silently, while Yukina's back was turned.

"Princess Yukina!" The girl jumped and whipped around, only to breathe a sigh of relief.

"Keiko, you scared me!" Yukina whispered, a bit relieved. Keiko laughed.

"Ahh, I know. Anyway, you gonna go? 'Cause then I have no reason to go to the ball if you ain't." Yukina shrugged.

"If I can get all these chores done before the ball, then I'll be able to go," she chirped. Keiko sighed.

"Hopefully, you'll get to go." Yukina gave her a half-smile.

"So do I. But you should go. I don't want you to get in trouble with Shizuru." Keiko shrugged and smiled.

"All right. Bye!" Yukina waved and Keiko left. Yukina went back to doing her chores. She soon got all the clothes washed. Now she had to hang them up outside, to dry. She walked outside and started to clip them up.

"It's nice and warm out today," she commented, smiling to herself. She clipped all the clothes up pretty fast, running back into the home. Juri was sitting on a stool, glaring at Yukina as she ran in.

"Huh? Hello Juri. Is there something you need?" Yukina asked curiously. Juri scoffed.

"Obviously. I need my new dress ironed, ASAP!" Yukina nodded.

"Where is it?"

"In my room." Yukina sighed and left the laundry room. She ran into Juri's room, where she found the new dress Shizuru bought for Juri. It was a long pale blue dress. There was a white ribbon at the waist, and there were matching shoes to go along with said dress.

Yukina snatched it and ran down the stairs, into the laundry room, and ran into Botan, who was sitting on the stool Juri sat on.

"Hello Botan," Yukina said in a bubbly voice.

"Hi. You need to iron my dress."

_"Another dress?" _Yukina thought, a bit depressed. She nodded.

"It's in my room," Botan said, acting like Yukina was stupid. Yukina nodded again and put Juri's dress on the ironing board. She left and sprinted up the stairs, ran into Botan's room, and saw her dress for the ball.

It was a strapless, short, violet dress. It came with matching shoes also.

"OK, down to the laundry room again!" Yukina said, flying down the stairs. She put Botan's dress next to Juri's dress and started to iron the two, humming. After she was done with that, she went into the kitchen and started to wash the dishes.

"Hn." The girl jumped and turned. She was a bit nervous when he came around.

"Hi Hiei," Yukina greeted, trying to sound cheerful.

"Hey Softy. Where's Juri?" Yukina shrugged before going back to the dishes. "Some help you were..." Then, she heard him leave. She sighed and started humming again.

"YUKINA!!" The eighteen year old turned curiously.

"Yes Shizuru?" Shizuru was standing at the door, flaming mad.

"What are you doing?!" Yukina blinked.

"The dishes. I'm finished with the laundry and ironing," she replied.

"Well, hurry up with the dishes! And how'd Hiei get in here?!"

"I don't know. Through the door?" Shizuru scowled before leaving. Yukina giggled and went back to the dishes yet again. After a while, she was finished.

"What else did Shizuru want me to do?" Yukina asked herself, thinking.

"She wanted you to scrub the floors."

"Thanks." Yukina was about to leave the kitchen when she whipped around. No one was there. She gulped before shaking her head.

"I'm hearing things."

"No, you aren't."

"Yes, I am. Wait!" She turned around again. No one was there... again. She huffed before walking away.

LATER...

"I finally got all of my chores done," Yukina said happily.

"But what about clothes?" Juri asked, Hiei holding her waist. (YEAH!! I'MMA HIEIxJURI FAN!! WHAT?!) She was wearing all of the essentials Shizuru bought her and had her hair in a French braid.

"I'll think of something," she replied to her stepsister. Juri's eyes narrowed.

"C'mon Hiei, let's go."

"Sure." And those two were gone, leaving the basement.

"Mother, how come Juri gets to leave now?!" Yukina heard Botan screech.

"Because she has a date," Shizuru coolly replied. Botan huffed loudly. Yukina shook her head, and heard footsteps coming down to her room.

"So, didja find anything to wear?" Shizuru asked Yukina. She (Shizuru) was wearing a long, dark blue dress and wore light blue heels. Her long, light brown hair was down, and she flicked it out of her face, like usual.

"N-no..." Shizuru let out a fake sad sigh.

"Then you can't go." Yukina's head jerked up, tears filling her crimson eyes.

"Wh-what?"

"You heard me. If you don't have anything to wear but rags, then you shouldn't even go." Yukina gulped, knowing she was going to get in trouble for snapping back, but what the hell does she got to lose?

"You never give me anything to wear _but _'rags'," she mumbled. Shizuru heard that, and was furious.

"What?"

"Nothing..." Shizuru scowled.

"OK, Miss Back-Talk, you can stay home and clean _this!_" Shizuru took the framed picture of Youko. Yukina's eyes widened in fear.

"Shizuru, please don't break it!" Shizuru's eyebrow raised before it fell, breaking.

"Oops." Shizuru shrugged, a small, but visible smirk on her face. She walked up the stairs, leaving a torn Yukina. She was frozen, tears streaming down her face. She knelt down and picked up the picture of her father.

"Sorry she did that, Father," Yukina apologized, placing the broken-framed picture on her small bed. She sat down and brought her face to her knees. She cried softly. She heard the front door slam.

"I don't even care about the ball. Why'd she have to do that to my only picture of my father?" Yukina asked herself. Then, she heard something. A whistling sound, and a faint scream.

"YYYYYYAAAAAAAAHHHHH!! WA-WATCH OUT, LIL ONE!!" Yukina looked up and gasped. She jumped down to the ground, and a girl, looking to be about thirteen, came crashing in on an oar. (Guess who's oar? :P)

Yukina coughed as the girl shook her head, jumping off of the oar. She helped Yukina stand up, and then she glared at the oar.

"Why can't you just die?!" she asked angrily to the oar. Then she turned towards Yukina. "Sorry, you OK?" Yukina nodded.

"I've heard your voice somewhere. I just don't know where," Yukina said, thinking deeply. The girl laughed.

"I'm the one that told you that your next chore was scrubbing the floors," she said, snickering. Yukina stared at her. "What?"

"Who are you?"

"Santa Claus." Yukina blinked in confusion.

"H-huh?" The girl waved it off.

"Nothin'. Anyway, I'm JJ, your... Mmm..." She took out a paper. "Uhh... 'Fairy godmother'... OK, that sounds like I'm freaking old. Here, lemme re-introduce myself." JJ cleared her throat. "I'm JJ the Magic-Girl!"

"... W-why are you here?" Yukina asked, inching away from JJ. JJ cocked her head.

"Didn't you wanna go to the ball? Oh man! Am I with that dumb guy, Jack?! Man, he was an idiot to get those damn beans..."

"N-no, I do wanna go to the ball." JJ did a victory dance.

"YES!! YOU STUPID OAR, YOU GOT ME TO THE RIGHT PLACE!!" JJ exclaimed happily, jumping on the oar. Yukina blinked.

"Umm... Who sent you, and are you on drugs?" JJ snapped her fingers.

"I sent myself, and I can't tell you about that kinda stuff. Now get on the oar!" Yukina shook her head.

"Do you know how to, uhh... Fly it?" JJ shook her head, grinning like an idiot.

"Nope! Now get on!" Yukina looked at her like she was crazy, so JJ grabbed her arm and yanked her on the oar.

"YAYS!!" JJ yelled happily as the oar flew up the stairs and outside. JJ stopped it when they got out to the yard, where a small garden was at. Yukina twitched.

"I... Never... Wanna experience something like this... Again..." JJ shrugged and jumped off, helping Yukina down as well.

"OK, first things first, you need some different clothes. Rag clothes aren't good on you at all," JJ commented. She took out a black wand and waved it. Yukina's clothes changed into an orange jumpsuit, her hair looked a bit spiked, and she was wearing a headband. (Guess who?)

"Hey cool! A ninja!" some kids who were walking down the dirt road yelled, pointing at Yukina.

"No! This is an escaped prisoner! RUN!!" JJ screamed. The kids screamed and ran like their lives depended on it. Yukina had one of her very, very, _very _rare glares glued onto her face.

"Did you have to say that?" JJ nodded.

"OK, that ain't the look for you. ABRACADABRA!!" Yukina's clothes changed into a light blue kimono, her hair was tied in a red ribbon, and she was wearing slippers. (lol)

"Mmm... Nice, but not... ball-like. Damn wand. WORK!!" JJ threw it to the ground, and then, Yukina's clothes changed into a long, baby blue, short-sleeved gown. Her hair was in a braided bun, and she was wearing (of course) glass slippers.

"Oh my..." JJ's brown eyes widened in victory and she did another victory dance. Yukina looked at the slippers cautiously.

"Umm... Will I get any... blisters from these?" she asked, staring at them. JJ stopped dancing and looked serious.

"Wanna get a different pair?" Yukina gulped and nodded nervously. JJ blinked and started laughing like crazy. "OK!!" She picked up the wand. The oar smacked JJ in the head.

"Whoa. You OK- STUPID ASS OAR!!" JJ screamed, cutting off Yukina and kicking the oar. JJ growled at the oar and picked up the black wand. She waved it at Yukina's feet, and they changed into regular slippers.

"How's that?"

"It's fine. But, you don't have to- OK, now you need a freaking ride. Mmm..." JJ looked at the garden and shrugged.

"You seriously don't- Stupid wand, you betta work," JJ grumbled, cutting off Yukina again. She waved it, and a small pumpkin turned into a man.

"Hello." JJ blinked.

"Umm... I'm JJ, can ya be the chauffeur?" The man shrugged.

"I dunno..."

"I'll give you... three pennies."

"DEAL!!" JJ smirked and waved the wand again. A squash turned into a truck.

"Oh, dammit!" JJ waved the wand again, and the truck turned into two horses. "Good. Now for the actual ride."

"JJ, do you really- OPEN SESAME!!" A tomato turned into a carriage. JJ bowed. "Your carriage awaits you, my Optimistic One." Yukina giggled. The pumpkin-turned-man jumped in the front of the carriage, where the horses magically were ready to leave.

"But, JJ, you seriously don't have to do this for me. I can't go anyway," Yukina protested as JJ hepled her in the carriage. JJ stopped.

"Why not? You're all dressed, you have a ride, you have me, and your damn stepmama and stepsisters won't recognize you." Yukina gulped.

"But, my friend, and Hiei! They both might recognize me!" JJ clicked her tongue.

"Tsk, tsk, tsk. You should know that I wouldn't let Hiei know you. Keiko might- How do you know Keiko and Hiei?" Yukina asked in a serious tone, cutting JJ off.

"I always see Keiko in the mailroom in that bigass palace and Hiei is always criticizing me about this damn oar," she said, grabbing the oar. "Oh, and before I forget. All this magic and fairytale-ish like crap will end at midnight." Yukina cocked her head.

"Why?" JJ froze for a minute.

"Mmm... I've actually wondered that myself." She shrugged and jumped on the oar. "See ya, Preencess!"

"Umm, princess?"

"Ahh, you know what I mean." Then, JJ flew away, a little too fast for her standards. "STUPID OAR!! DIE, DAMMIT!!" Yukina sweat dropped and shook her head as the carriage made its way towards the ball!

AT THE BALL

"Prince Jin, Prince Jin! Dance with me! Dance with me!" all the girls in the ballroom yelled happily, trying to get the man's, who's sporting a red afro, attention. He grinned sheepishly and took the next girl in line for a dance.

_"I am bored out of my mind," _he thought as he danced with the girl.

"Jin, you're _sooo _handsome," the girl commented. He smiled.

_"Why am I here? ... Oh yeah, I need a bride." _It was only 11:28, but Jin was already bored. And the ball was just getting started!

"Grr!" Botan was going to be the next girl the prince was going to dance with, but being as she was, she was impatient as hell!

"Botan, you should just relax," Juri said as she and Hiei danced.

"Easy for you to say! I'm trying to get all of us a chance at royalty!" Botan said over the loud music.

"Party-pooper."

"Tramp!" Juri and Botan glared at each other. Then, Botan was next in line for the dance with Prince Jin.

"Hello," Jin said, trying to sound polite.

_"Where's Touya and Chu when you need them?" _he thought bitterly as he took an eager Botan's hand.

"Prince Jin, may I say you look handsome tonight," Botan said in a seductive voice. Jin grinned shyly.

"And you, uh, look ravishing tonight." Botan grinned widely.

"Thank you!" Shizuru was talking to a man, but staring at her daughter.

_"Dammit Botan, you better win his heart," _she thought, a bit annoyed.

"So, may I ask your name?" the man asked, staring at Shizuru with eager eyes.

"Shizuru. May I ask yours?" The man chuckled and kissed her hand.

"Sayko." Shizuru giggled. After a few minutes of dancing, Jin got bored. Botan seemed excited.

"Jin, I really wanna do something," she said, her pink eyes staring at Jin.

"R-really?"

_"I want to stop dancing," _he hoped she would say. She slowly made her way near Jin's lips.

_"Oh, dammit! I don't wanna have my first real kiss with her! I don't even know her name!" _Jin thought. He closed his eyes, hoping something would happen.

His wish came true.

Everyone in the room had suddenly stopped talking. Jin was wondering this, and stared at the people, stopping his dance, and to his relief, the soon-to-be kiss, with Botan. They were all gazing near the door.

_"Hmm? What's this now?" _Jin looked near the door, and his heart skipped a beat. Yukina was standing there, looking a bit shy. She looked... beautiful. Jin let Botan's hands go and walked over to this 'mysterious' girl.

"What the-? Jin!" Botan called out, very pissed. JJ was looking through one of the windows, staring at Yukina.

"Damn, I'm too good," she commented, nodding her head.

"No, you ain't." JJ turned, where Hiei was standing, looking through the window with her. She smacked him.

"Aren't you on your day-off?!" she whispered harshly.

"Yes, but I need to take a break from dancing." JJ stuck out her tongue in annoyance.

_"This girl's pretty!" _Jin thought. But, as many people would've guessed it, all of the bachelors had ran over to Yukina, asking to dance with her, blocking Jin from her.

"Hello Beautiful. I'm Yusuke," one man said, trying to hold her hands.

"I'm Kazuma Kuwabara!" another man said. Yukina sweat dropped and smiled nervously.

"And I'm Jin." After that being said, every one of the guys turned to stare at the prince.

_"Damn," _they all thought, letting him through to the one they wanted to know. Yukina blushed, and gulped.

_"This is it," _she thought.

"You didn't lie to her, didja?" Hiei asked, staring at Yukina, looking bored. JJ scowled at him.

"I only... embellished the truth about you and her," she said.

"OK, what?!"

"You're an idiot. I'm saying that I told her that you wouldn't recognize her when she came, in case she saw you. So don't screw this up."

"Me? How would I screw something up?" JJ glared at him.

"OK, here was my first mission with you in fairytale world. I was trying to get Fiona's prince charming, but who was the one to make that dragon nearly kill us?" Hiei scoffed.

"OK, that was one mission. I thought the thing was sleeping!" JJ held up a finger.

"That's not all. What about Red? Hmm?" Hiei thought for a moment.

"Oh, I was trying to help her out, but I got confused with the Grandma-Wolf thing!"

"And what about the pigs?" Hiei thought again, and laughed.

"I swear, I thought it was a play!" JJ rolled her eyes and went back to looking inside the window.

"Oh shit, Jin and Yukina are kissing!"

"WHAT?!" Hiei shoved JJ out of the way and looked inside the room, where Yukina and Jin were dancing.

"You just missed it!" Hiei smacked her. JJ laughed.

"I hate you."

"So do I."

"Geez, are you guys made to argue with each other?"

"Yes, we are, Keiko!" JJ said angrily. "And you're on your day-off, too!"

"Yeah, but my date is trying to dance with Yukina."

"Boo-hoo!" ... OK... (clears throat) As I had said earlier, Jin and Yukina were, I mean, _are _still dancing. Everyone, even the King and the Queen, watched intently.

"Do you think our son has finally found a bride?" the queen asked her husband. He nodded.

"A beautiful one, at that," he added. Yukina looked around, and blushed when she saw everyone watching. She even saw JJ looking through the window. When the two met eye contact, JJ waved excitedly, only to get smacked by someone Yukina couldn't identify.

"Uhh, e-everyone's wa-watching us, Jin," Yukina whispered shyly. Jin smirked.

"Let them." Yukina gulped.

"Grr! Mother, how come Jin ditched me like that?!" Botan asked angrily. Shizuru looked at her with a look that said 'I'm having my fun. Leave me alone'. Botan growled and left her mother.

Yukina's knees felt weak. She thought they might give out on her.

"You all right?" Jin asked worriedly.

"Y-yes."

"Aww! So cute!" JJ commented. The oar had smacked her head again. "DAMN OAR!!"

"Y'know, I like this oar," Hiei said, jumping on it. JJ kicked him.

"Damn _idiota!_" JJ muttered. She looked at her watch. 11:51. "Nine more minutes..."

"Hmm? 'Til what?" Hiei asked, still looking at the couple dancing.

"Huh? Oh. 'Til the magic wears off."

"Ohh..." JJ jumped on the oar, glaring at Hiei.

"You know, Juri's probably wondering where you are..." Hiei got the hint.

"DAMMIT!!" He ran away.

"Well, I got rid of him. Now, let's see how this turns out." JJ watched all the people dance, especially Yukina and Jin.

"JJ!!" JJ jumped and turned. She gulped loudly when she saw her boss.

"Hey Mi-mama," she greeted nervously.

"Hiei said that you gave a client a time limit!" Mi-mama boomed.

"Uh-huh. And?" Mi-mama stared at her funny.

"You don't care, do you?" JJ shook her head, grinning like an idiot. "You're an idiot."

"IDIOTS EXIST!!" JJ started running around in circles like batso-crazy. Mi-mama sighed and left.

"Oh, and the oar hates you."

"Yeah, I figured that out awhile ago," JJ said, shrugging.

"Oh, and it's 11:57."

"Thanks, I- WHAT?!" JJ looked at her watch and groaned loudly and annoyingly. Mi-mama shook her head and left. JJ whipped around, facing the window.

"I would like to ask you something," Jin said suddenly. Yukina stared at him with her crimson eyes.

"Y-yes?" She glanced at the girls in line, who were sending her death glares. She gulped.

"Can... you be... my..."

"Your-?" CRASH!! Everyone jumped, including the two, when hearing a crash. JJ came running in and grabbed Yukina's wrist.

"Gots to go! Later!" JJ said, running away with Yukina. One of Yukina's slippers came off.

"JJ! W-wait!" Yukina said as they left the palace. JJ helped Yukina on the oar.

"It's midnight in THREE, TWO, ONE!!" Yukina's clothes suddenly changed into her old clothes. Her hair was down. The only thing that didn't change were the slippers.

"Wait!" Jin yelled, running after the two. The oar flew away, very fastly. Jin sighed sadly, and tripped on something. "What the- A slipper?" He picked it up.

"Jin! Dance with me! We didn't finish yet- Hi..." He waved Botan away. "Mmm..." He walked up the long stairs, and walked into his room, ignoring everyone who tried talking to him.

"Jin?" Jin looked near the door, and waved a bit.

"Hi Rinku," Jin greeted. The boy smiled.

"You seem troubled."

"That girl... I don't even know her name..." Rinku scoffed.

"Jin, you don't even know half of the people down there," he commented, sitting next to the prince.

"I need to find out who that girl was," Jin said, staring at the slipper as if it were doing something interesting.

"Huh?" Jin stood up, a determined smile glued on his face.

"Rinku, we're going to find my princess," he announced.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! You said you didn't know who the chick was! And what do you have that'll help in any way?"

"This slipper," Jin merely said. "Now you should go. We'll leave at dawn!" Rinku sweat dropped and left, a little confused.

_"I need friends my age," _he thought as he left.

THE NEXT DAY AT DUSK, ERR, DAWN (I get confused with these two words)

Jin and Rinku were walking door-to-door, trying to find Jin's princess. Of course, all the girls in the town were eager and excited when having a prince come to their door.

"I can fit it!" one girl said, when it was obviously too small. Jin shook his head.

"Is there any other women in the house?" he asked.

"No." Jin and Rinku left, leaving the girl feeling blue. They went to the next house, and this time, the slipper was too big.

The continued this all day, when they finally reached the only house on a dirt road. Rinku was sweating profusely.

"Jin, I hate you," he said, panting. Jin looked like he was slapped in the face, but then a playful smirk replaced it.

"Sorry, but you are wearing a black tux when you really only needed to wear something that covers the essentials." Rinku stuck his tongue out at him, and he busted out laughing.

"You owe me."

"I know." They had got to the house and Rinku knocked. Jin was holding the slipper. Shizuru answered it and she immediately slammed it.

"Was not expecting that," Rinku said, blinking.

IN THE HOUSE

"BOTAN!! JURI!! COME DOWN HERE!!" Shizuru screamed. The two sisters came running down, wearing their pajamas.

"Yes?"

"The Prince is here." Juri groaned and walked away.

"I got my prince already, Mom, and his name is Hiei."

"At least stay!" Juri sighed and reluctantly stayed. Shizuru told Botan to open the door, and she ran down to the basement. She opened the door, where Yukina was sleeping soundly, clutching the picture of Youko. Yukina was remebering the night before.

:DAMN FLASHBACK:

_JJ and Yukina were flying to the house. Yukina stayed back at the palace with sad eyes._

_"I really wanted to stay," she mumbled._

_"Sorry Preencess, but another few seconds, and you woulda woke up as a ghost," JJ said, stopping the oar abruptly. JJ jumped off the oar, helping Yukina jump down._

_"It's fine. Thank you for what you've done, though," Yukina said, smiling. JJ grinned in a goofy way._

_"Of course. But I gotta jet, or would it be called 'oar'? ... Mmm..." Yukina sweat dropped. JJ shrugged it off. "See ya, Yukina!" JJ jumped on the oar. Yukina waved._

_"Bye JJ!" After JJ was gone, screaming 'YOU DAMN OAR!! SLOW DOWN!!', Yukina walked into the house and ran down to her room. She picked up the glass from her picture frame and threw them away. She then climbed into bed and fell asleep._

_SLAM!! Shizuru, Botan, and Juri came in, one of them pissed, the other two happy._

_"Yay! Hiei and I are finally a whole!" Juri exclaimed happily, dancing. Botan scowled. Shizuru even seemed content._

_"I'm so gonna call Sayko," she muttered, walking up the stairs, to her room. Juri and Botan followed._

_"Who was the slut that took my prince from me?" Botan asked herself angrily. All that was in her mind was Jin and the 'mysterious' girl dancing, nearly kissing!_

_Yukina kept thinking of Jin also, not even caring about what might happen to her. She smiled in her sleep._

:ENDO FLASHBACK:

Shizuru growled. Yukina slowly opened her eyes.

"H-huh? Good morning, Shizuru." Shizuru smirked.

"You aren't comin' upstairs." Yukina froze.

"Why?" Shizuru turned and was about to leave when Yukina sat up, still holding the picture of her father. "Hey! I asked you something!" Shizuru stopped and turned, smirking.

"Oh, just 'cause the Prince is here. No biggie." Yukina tumbled out of bed as Shizuru closed the door and locked it from the outside. Yukina stumbled over to the door and tried to open it, but to no avail.

"This isn't fair!" Yukina said, staring at Youko.

"Damn straight, it ain't fair!"

"Exactly!" Yukina did an anime fall and sweat dropped as she looked up towards the ceiling. JJ was there, sitting on the oar, waving and smiling.

"JJ?"

"The one and only! Now, you need some help out?" Yukina's eyes welled up with tears. JJ looked shocked. "N-no! No crying, please!" Yukina was smiling though.

"JJ, you've done more than enough for just me," she said, the tears falling freely. JJ thought for a moment, then breathed a deep sigh of relief.

"Those are tears of joy?" Yukina nodded. "Oh, thank Zeus!" Yukina sweat dropped again.

UPSTAIRS

"So, does it fit your foot, Miss?" Rinku asked Botan. It was too small.

"Y-yes..." Shizuru shot her a glare, Juri looked bored (like usual), and Jin's eyes kept looking hopeful.

"It does not," Juri said. "You look like you're wearing one of Yu-" Shizuru elbowed her hard in the ribs. She didn't say more after that. Jin sighed and took the slipper.

"Is there anymore women in your house?" he asked Shizuru. She shook her head sadly.

"No."

"Yeah, and hell just froze over!" Everyone looked towards JJ. She was hiding a nervous Yukina behind her back.

"JJ?" Jin and Rinku said in disbelief.

"Hm? Oh, hey guys. You need to try the slipper-thing on Yukina here," she said, placing Yukina in front of her. Shizuru and Botan glared at her. Juri didn't acknowledge her. Jin looked lovingly at Yukina.

"You know them?" Yukina whispered. JJ nodded.

"So, do it already!" JJ said, sitting Yukina down on a chair. Rinku shrugged and knelt down, taking the slipper from Jin.

"Wait!" Botan said. Rinku and Jin looked at her. "Gimme one more chance, eh?"

"Sorry, but you couldn't fit it the first time. Not unless your toes were chopped off," JJ snapped. Botan growled.

"I'mma have to agree with JJ," Rinku said, half-smiling and shrugging. Yukina put the slipper on. Jin and JJ were the only ones watching her. Jin knelt down, and saw the slipper fit Yukina's foot perfectly.

"Rinku, we have a match," he said. Shizuru and Botan were still sending daggers at him as the boy turned. He gave Jin a small black box.

"You're already kneeling. Now you need to ask," JJ said, jumping on the oar.

"H-how can you fly?!" the three girls yelled, pointing at the oar.

"I'm magical!" Well, she _is _JJ the Magic-Girl! :P ... Sorry... OK, moving foward. Jin whispered something to JJ. "Her name's Yukina," she said.

"Thanks for making sure the whole town heard," he said sarcastically. JJ did a salute.

"No prob!" He shook his head and opened the box. In it was a diamond ring. Yukina gasped.

_"Is he... proposing to me?" _she thought, a bit excited.

"Will you be my bride, Yukina?" Her words caught in her throat.

_"YES!!" _Yukina kept thinking. Shizuru sent daggers at Yukina and JJ. Botan wanted to strangle JJ. Juri... wanted to go back to sleep.

"Yes!" JJ and Rinku sighed with relief.

_"FINALLY!!" _they thought together. Jin was grinning madly, and Botan and Shizuru scowled.

"What the hell?! Botan, you were the one that was supposed to have the happy ending!" Shizuru screamed. JJ raised an eyebrow and 'accidently' pushed Yukina into Jin.

"I hope I get an invite to the weddin'!" she said, laughing. She flew away on the oar.

"You'll be the maiden of honor!" Yukina called out. Jin was holding her happily.

TIME SKIP, THE WEDDING (Oh, finally!)

JJ was struggling with the white dress she had to wear, being Yukina's 'Magic-Girl' and being the maid of honor.

_"How'd I get into this again?" _she thought bitterly, smacking Hiei whenever he laughed at her.

"Mmm," a man with long red hair muttered. He was staring at Yukina, who was wearing a long white dress. Jin and her were exchanging vows. JJ didn't really listen to the pastor. She was bored.

_"C'mon, just say 'KISS THE DAMN BRIDE!!' I'm tired of waiting!"_

"You may now kiss the bride," the man said happily. JJ looked in the crows. The whole town was practically there. Well, except Shizuru. JJ grinned evily.

:ANOTHER DAMN FLASHBACK:

_"You know, I'm not an idiot," JJ said, backing Shizuru into a wall._

_"So? I tihnk you are."_

_"My mi-mama says you're the one that killed Yukina's father. Care to explain?" Shizuru did the eye shift._

_"Uhh..." She tried to run, but she was in a corner. JJ and, despite JJ's protests, Hiei had knocked her out._

_When Shizuru woke, she was in a jail cell._

_"Ha-ha, fail," JJ said, smacking Hiei and leaving._

:ENDO FLASHBACK:

JJ looked at the newly married couple, who were still kissing.

"Damn." Hiei smacked her.

"Shut up, JJ." JJ smirked.

"At least I ain't wearin' the janitor." Hiei growled. Yukina threw the bouquet of flowers behind her back. All the single women tried to catch it, but guess who did?

"Oh, come on! I ain't gettin' married," JJ yelled. "Try again!"

"She can't," one of the women said huffily. JJ stuck her tongue out. Someone tapped her shoulder. She turned and was greeted by Yukina and Jin.

"JJ," Yukina said, smiling. She had been crying, but everyone knew they were tears of joy.

"Hi. Jin," JJ said, waving a bit. Jin smiled his usual goofy grin.

"So, who's the lucky guy?" he asked. JJ smacked him.

"Say that again Jin, and I will not make any regrets to castrate you," she warned. Yukina giggled. "Oh, I gots to say some advice."

"Yes?" Jin and Yukina asked in unison, sounding curious.

"When you guys get busy, use protection!"

"..."

* * *

THEN END!! ... At least for now. :P

Hiei: Oh joy. ¬¬

... I hate you.

Hiei: OK, Magic-Girl.

Damn straight, I'm Magic-Girl! X) OK, reviewer-

Hiei: How long did it take for you to write this?

I dunno, maybe three days? I lost count.

Hiei: Boo.

Oh, shut up. Sooo... see ya'll next chapter! And again, I KNOW ALL THE CHARACTERS WERE OOC, BUT NONE OF YOU KNOW ME... :P Byyyye...


	2. Sleepin' Beauty

Rinku, you pick out the next parody.

Rinku: 'Kay. (picks out paper randomly) Err... Sleeping Beauty.

Oh, joy. That was probably the worst Disney flick I've ever seen. I wanted that guy from 'See No Evil' to come and claw my eyes out when I saw it.

Hiei: You hated it that much?!

Yes, I did! Even my cousins didn't like the damn movie. ¬¬ OK, again, this is a major OOC story! OK?!

Hiei: And what was with the me and Juri thing?!

... OK, R&R!!

Hiei: Hey!!

Oh, and you'll seem my notes and comments in parentheses, or however you spell it... OK, these things. () You'll have to read the A/N at the end to know why some parts confused me.

* * *

After three hours of excruciating pain, a woman, the Queen, had finally given birth to a beautiful baby girl. (Of course)

"We shall name her... Keiko!" she announced. Her husband, the King, had agreed.

"And she will marry Prince Kuronue when she is of age!" The Queen agreed, holding Princess Keiko, smiling at her baby.

AT THE BANQUET (... I didn't understand this part of the movie1)

"Congrats Q!" someone yelled happily. The Queen grinned.

"Thank you, JJ," she said, playing with Keiko.

"Oh, my 'sisters' are being idiots and are taking forever to get here, so when they come, we'll give Keiko the gifts," JJ added, drinking wine and spitting it out. "Dammit! I thought this was grape juice!" The Queen and King sweat dropped.

"JJ!!" The girl turned and saw the two girls she had been waiting for.

"Finally! Hinageshi, Koto, what _took _you?!" JJ yelled, running over to the two girls.

"Hinageshi was taking forever to find an outfit for this banquet," Koto said, rolling her eyes.

"Oh dammit, Hinageshi! You only need to cover the damn essentials!" JJ said. Hinageshi shrugged and pointed to a table.

"OMG! Look! There's apples!" JJ sighed loudly.

"Go get one." Hinageshi squealed and left.

"I worry about her at times," Koto said, shaking her head. JJ shrugged.

"At least we know she's eatin' healthy." Koto agreed and saw Keiko.

"OMG!!"

"OK, what the hell? 'OMG'? Are you serious?" JJ asked, annoyed. Koto waved it off and started to talk to the Queen while playing with Keiko.

FIVE MINUTES LATER

The King walked up to JJ, who was talking to a random person.

"And then he said, 'And that's how you make loooove'," JJ finished. The random person clapped.

"Exactly! Tell your mi-mama I said 'Hi'!"

"Will do!" The King tapped JJ on the shoulder, earning a slap to the face. JJ started laughing when she saw him sprawled out on the floor.

"JJ!!" The King boomed.

"King Whatever-Your-Name-Is!" JJ boomed back. The King was about to yell at her when Koto made an announcement.

"Everyone, me and my sisters will give Princess Keiko her gifts!" she exclaimed happily.

"Whoo," someone said in a bored voice. Koto stuck her tongue out at the person.

"JJ, Hinageshi, which one of us- You," JJ and Hinageshi said in unison before Koto even finished her sentence.

"Umm... OK... I am gonna give Keiko the gift of beauty!" Koto exclaimed. Everyone clapped. Hinageshi went next.

"I will give her the gift of no brains!" Everyone clapped again. JJ blinked. Before she could say anything, a huge-ass puff of black smoke poofed into the middle of a table.

"WHAT THE HELL?!" the person screamed. JJ cocked her head.

"What is it now, Shishi?"

"HOW COME I WASN'T INVITED?!" Shishi boomed.

"You're a witch," Hinageshi said annoyingly, narrowing her eyes.

"So?! I need free food too!" Shishi protested.

"Hey Fucker, we're tryin' to celebrate here. So, go back to Suzuki and get your foot outta the potato salad!" JJ said, putting her hands on her hips. Shishi looked down and groaned in digust. The foot was covered in the potato salad. JJ started laughing.

"Ha-ha!" she taunted. Shishi growled.

"Well, just 'cause you said _that_, I'm gonna say that when the princess is sixteen, she'll get bitten by a snake, and it'll kill her!" JJ stood on the table she was sitting at.

"Why is the princess involved in this? I was the one that insulted you!" Shishi shrugged.

"I'm bored." Everyone but JJ and Shishi did an anime fall.

"Well, she won't die! I didn't say my present yet! It was originally gonna be the gift of making guys fall for her, but what the fuck? It'll be that she'll fall asleep when this snake bites her, and the only thing that'll wake her is her first real on-the-lips kiss."

"Fine!" Shishi screamed.

"FINE!!" JJ screeched back. Then, she (Yes, everyone's dream came true: Shishiwakamaru is a fucking girl) left in another cloud of smoke. JJ coughed.

"JJ!!" the King and Queen screeched.

"OK, what'd I do?!" Koto looked at her in disbelief.

"You shoulda made it so that Keiko _wouldn't _die at all!" JJ shrugged.

"Where's the fun in that?" Koto and Hinageshi did an anime fall. The Queen stood up, Keiko laughing in her arms.

"You are to be punished!!" JJ looked at her with bored brown eyes.

"How? I can kill you, y'know." The Queen turned a dark red.

"Well, you and Hinageshi and Koto are to care for Keiko until she is sixteen!" JJ cocked her head.

"Why sixteen? She might die if she comes back." The Queen sighed exasperately.

"Just... shut up! And take her and leave!" Koto and Hinageshi nodded, grabbing Keiko and JJ's wrist, leaving.

"Thanks alot, JJ!" Koto said in a sarcastic voice. JJ shook her head.

"Oh, shut up, Koto."

ANOTHER DREADED TIME SKIP, SIXTEEN YEARS LATER (Holy fucking crap)

"Hey Keiko! Where's my wand?!" JJ yelled, practically tearing through everything. Sixteen year old Keiko shrugged, lying on a cot.

"Why?"

"Well, duh! I need it!" Keiko groaned.

"I meant, why do you need it? And where Hinageshi and Koto?" JJ shrugged.

"Fuck if I know. AHA!! I FOUND IT!!" JJ whipped out a black wand.

"Geez, this thing reminds me of my first few fairytale missions..." she said, sitting on the floor. Keiko shook her head.

"You are a big idiot!" Keiko said irritably, shaking her head. JJ shrugged.

"I wonder how Yukina's doin'..."

"Who?" JJ glared at Keiko.

"You wanna know somethin' from 'a big idiot' now?" JJ asked, obviously annoyed. Keiko scoffed, but said nothing. Soon, Hinageshi and Koto came in, singing.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!"

"Cha cha cha!" JJ sang. Keiko sweat dropped and smiled at that.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!"

"Cha cha cha!"

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DEAR KEIKO!!"

"Cha cha cha!"

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!" Hinageshi and Koto finished. JJ shoved Keiko playfully. Keiko smiled.

"Too bad you can't sing anymore, JJ," Keiko commented. Koto and Hinageshi had forbidden JJ to sing the Happy Birthday song to Keiko when Keiko was five.

:DAMN FLASHBACK:

_"HAPPY B-DAY TO KEIKO!!" JJ yelled, dancing. Keiko laughed. She loved how JJ sang, even though she was the worst at it._

_Koto and Hinageshi, on the other hand, hated the fact that she would screw up the song. Sure, they always laughed too, but on this birthday, JJ tripped and she landed face-first into the ginormous _(This word is from the movie 'Elf') _birthday cake._

_"JJ!!" Koto said angrily. "I took five hours of my never-ending life to bake that!" JJ's head jerked up and she spit out the cake that went into her mouth._

_"Yeah, and you'll need the never-ending life, since you still suck at making B-day cakes," she snapped, shaking her head. Keiko laughed._

_"Ha-ha, JJ!" JJ stuck her tongue out playfully at the small girl as she wiped her face from the white stuff._ (Hiei: Ew... Me: ... OH, GROSS!! Scratch that, make it blue stuff!)

:ENDO FLASHBACK:

"Yeah, I know," JJ said, hanging her head. Hinageshi smirked.

"Hopefully, you won't land on this cake, since I made it- OOOH!!" Keiko squealed, cutting off Hinageshi.

"Someone's eager," Koto commented, grinning madly. After Hinageshi made it to the table, with some close-calls, without dropping the cake, everyone but JJ began eating.

"C'mon, JJ!" Keiko said, stuffing her face like she was an idiot. JJ sweat dropped.

_"Hinageshi really did make her have no brains. What good'll this come out of?" _she thought bitterly.

"No thanks. I'm still not eating cake after the incident with Koto from many years back." Keiko cocked her head and then shook it.

"Don't wanna know." JJ stuck her tongue out playfully.

"Good, 'cause I wasn't gonna tell you anyway." **_Silence_**. Hinageshi cleared her throat.

"I made it with sugar," she said tauntily (I don't care if it's not a word!), staring at JJ with a very playful glint in her eye. JJ turned a green color before shaking her head.

"Hinageshi, you're probably right about the cake actually tasting _sweet,_" JJ said, glaring at Koto as she said it, "but unfortunately, Koto has, in a taste-like way, scarred me for the rest of my life."

"Hmph!" Koto said, frowning and taking a bite from the cake. JJ snickered.

"Y'know, you'll bite off the fork if you keep eating like that," she pointed out. Koto shook her head in annoyance and still ate.

"Oh JJ, do you have the gift for Keiko?" Hinageshi asked suddenly, her face covered in frosting. JJ sweat dropped again.

_"There was a reason to give Keiko the gift of having no brains. I knew it."_

"Yeah. I'll get it." JJ left the room then, only to come back with a knee-length, blue violet gown. Keiko gasped.

"For me?!" JJ scoffed.

"Nope. For Hinageshi. OF COURSE, FOR YOU!!" Keiko stuck her tongue out, and JJ scowled.

"OK Keiko, change into this. We're gonna go to the palace and you will be greeted by your parents!" Koto chirped. Keiko nodded, took the gown, and left into a room to change.

THREE HOURS LATER, AT THE PALACE

"Oh, my baby girl!" the Queen yelled, crushing Keiko with her hugs. Keiko gasped for air.

"Hello... Mother..." (2Another part that really confused me) The King patted her shoulder. JJ, Hinageshi, and Koto stared at them.

"A heartwarming moment, ehh?" Koto asked her 'sisters'.

"Mmm," Hinageshi mumbled softly, grinning.

"NO SHIT!!" JJ hollered, smirking. Koto's eye twitched as everyone in the room stared at the 'Good Fairies' like they were all crazy idiots. (One of them is. Can you guess who? :P)

"What?" JJ asked, staring back. They all shook their heads, and began to listen to the King and Queen's speech about what they were going to do about Keiko and Kuronue's wedding. JJ and Keiko were the only ones not listening.

"Well, this place is shit. I'mma jet," JJ announced to her 'sisters', who were staring at her in disbelief. JJ left the palace then. Keiko watched her leave and shrugged.

"And then, Kuronue and Keiko will take my place and rule the kingdom when I die," the King finished, eating a piece of chicken.

"Mmm-hmm..." Keiko said, looking and sounding bored. "Father, I'm quite fatigued. I'm going to retire." The King nodded and she left, staring at a man with long, black hair, which was up in a ponytail. He had pale skin, and he wore a black tux. Even he looked bored.

He caught her eye, and smirked. She returned it with a sly smile.

_"Who's he?" _she thought, winking at him. He blushed, and stuck his tongue out playfully. Keiko blushed also, and bumped into a wall. The man snickered.

"Oops..." She walked up the stairs, humiliated.

_"That's who I'm marrying? Oh, Yomi and Youko are so gonna be jealous that I, Kuronue, is marrying someone as cute as her," _the man, Kuronue, thought slyly.

AS THE TIME GOES BY, EVERYONE STARTS TO GO TO BED... WHICH, IN OTHER TERMS, IT'S BEEN THREE HOURS

Shishi had poofed into Keiko's room. She stared at the sleeping princess. Shishi had put a spell over the whole castle, so everyone in it stayed asleep. (3This is another part that confused me)

"Now, you little bitch, you are gonna follow ME!!" Shishi yelled at Keiko. She immediately opened her eyes, which looked looked they were possessed.

"Yes..." Keiko said solemnly. Shishi put a note on Keiko's

OUTSIDE THE PALACE

JJ walked up to the palace door and looked around.

"I need the key back home," she whispered to herself, opening the door and stepping into the palace, only to drop to the floor, asleep.

Shishi and a possessed-like Keiko walked down the stairs. Shishi sweat dropped at the sight of JJ.

"Mommy, can I have a cookie?" JJ murmured in her sleep4. Shishi sweat dropped.

"OK, freak..." she muttered. "Come on, Keiko."

"Yes..."

AT SHISHI'S NOT-SO-SECRET HIDING PLACE

"Suzuki! I got the girl!" Shishi sang happily. "Now where's the snake JJ gave us?!" A faint scream was heard.

"SHISHI!!" a manly voice screamed. "JJ GAVE US A NON-POISONOUS SNAKE, THAT BITCH!!"

"Well, inject poison in the thing or whatever," Shishi said boredly, sitting on a chair the appeared randomly.

"I DID!! IT'S SCARING ME!!" Shishi sighed.

"Keiko, go inside that room," Shishi instructed, pointing to the room where Suzuki's faint screams were heard.

"Yes..." Keiko walked into the room, and an immediate 'EEK!!' was heard. Then, a thump.

"Suzuki?" Shishi asked, standing up.

"I'm fine! It was just the princess! She passed out! ... Hey, she's still alive!" Suzuki said in disbelief.

"Dammit! JJ wasn't lying for once!"

"Damn. Well, what're we gonna do?" Shishi thought for a moment.

"Mmm... Drag the body upstairs, lock her in a room, and then come back down." Suzuki groaned.

"Fiiiiine..."

THE NEXT MORNING

Kuronue and JJ were the first ones to wake. JJ yawned and stood up.

"I need the key," she said, scratching her head. Kuronue was walking down the stairs, content. He had a barely visible smile on his face. JJ cocked her head.

"Who the hell are you?" Kuronue snapped out of his thoughts and stared at JJ.

"Prince- Oh, you're Kuronue. I'm JJ. I have two other 'sisters', and I need the key back home," JJ said, cutting off Kuronue in a bored voice.

"You seem bored," Kuronue commented.

"Well, no shit. I'm sleepy." Kuronue stared at her with a funny expression.

"OK..." JJ shoved him out of her way and ran up the stairs. Kuronue followed her.

"Quit following me, Percy," JJ snapped, not even looking back at him. He stopped, and his expression went from content to shock.

"How can you- Don't ask, because I ain't answerin'." JJ knocked on Keiko's bedroom door. No response.

"Err, what're you doing?" Kuronue asked, sweat dropped as JJ began to kick the door. JJ glared at him.

"I want an autograph from Morgan Freeman. What the hell does it look like I'm doing?! I'm kicking the door!" JJ said angrily.

"Quiet! You'll wake everyone in the castle!" Kuronue whispered harshly, his long, black hair swishing in a ponytail. JJ sighed.

"Sorry..." she whispered. "EVERYONE, WAKE UP!!" JJ screamed. Kuronue's eye twitched.

"Thanks..."

"No problemo!" JJ kicked the door down, finally, and walked in. No one was in there.

"Kuronue? What are you doing up? And why are you outside of Keiko's room?" Kuronue and JJ froze. JJ hid under the huge bed as Kuronue turned to his left nervously. It was the Queen.

"Umm... I... dunno," Kuronue said sheepishly. JJ shook her head and got out from under the bed.

_"No use in hiding," _she thought. She sat cross-legged on the huge light blue bed. The Queen walked into the room, expecting to see Keiko, but was surprised to see one of the 'Good Fairies'.

"JJ, hello," she said, yawning. JJ nodded and saw something that caught her attention.

"Huh? A note?" JJ snatched it and read it. "Oh great!"

"What?" The Queen and Kuronue asked simultanously.

"Oh, it's just this note. It says, 'Pie-eating contest at the pie shop. Come if you think you're ready'," JJ read aloud. Then she took out another note. "Oh, and Shishi has Keiko."

"WHAT?!" The Queen roared.

"I said, 'Oh, and Shishi has Keiko'," JJ repeated in her bored voice.

"I know what you said!"

"Then why'd you ask?" The Queen growled. Kuronue watched as the two argued.

_"My princess has been kidnapped? ... Oh, Goddammit! Not fair! I was sleeping! It's so-"_

"So you gonna do it, Percy?" JJ asked suddenly to Kuronue. He snapped out of his thoughts and stared at the girl.

"Umm... Yes?" JJ smiled.

"Told ya Percy was gonna save Keiko from all the things Shishi is gonna throw at him, like fire-breathing dragons, dousing him in gas and lighting him on fire, beating the piss outta him, making him watch Teletubbies, throwing him off of a cliff, and the worst of all... THROWING HIM TO HIS FANGIRLS!!" Kuronue gasped.

"Not the fangirls!" (lol)

"Yes!" JJ screeched. She looked at the note, then back at Kuronue.

"Are you gonna come with?" Kuronue asked, crossing his arms and frowning. JJ shook her head, laughing like an idiot.

"Nope! If I go, you're fangirls'll think I'm trying to flirt with you, when I think you're still a girl." Kuronue blinked.

"Can you at least bring me to wherever I need to go?" JJ thought for a moment and shrugged. She waved her black wand, which appeared out of nowhere, and in came that damn oar, smacking JJ in the head.

"YOU FUCKING OAR!!" JJ yelled angrily, kicking the damn thing. "Here, go on this thing, and it'll take you to wherever Shishi is."

"OK." Kuronue jumped on the oar, a bit confusingly, and then, the oar flew at full speed. "OH DAMMIT!!"

"Bye!" JJ called out, smirking. Kuronue scowled at her before he was actually gone. JJ sighed and looked at the Queen with her brown, no-emotional eyes. The Queen eyed her.

"What?" JJ shook her head.

"You know he isn't gonna wear protection, right?"

"..."

WITH KURONUE

Kuronue was finally away from the freak, JJ.

"Now, where's Shishi, you dumbass oar?" Kuronue asked angrily. He crashed into a tree. "Thanks..." He stood up, shaking a bit.

"OMG!! KURONUE!!" The prince's eyes widened in fear.

_"Dammit! Fangirls!" _He ran away from where he was, despite the pain in his legs from the crash-landing.

"WAIT!!" Kuronue looked back and ran even faster when thousands of Kuronue-fangirls were chasing him.

_"DAMMIT!! DAMMIT!! DAMMIT!! DAMMIT!! DAMMIT!! DAMMIT!! DAMMIT!! DAMMIT!! DAMMIT!!" _Kuronue thought angrily.

"Need help?" Kuronue looked up and saw JJ on the oar.

"YES!!" JJ raised an eyebrow and extended her hand to help him on the oar.

"All right." Kuronue was about to grab it when he bumped into a wall. He lied on the ground, passed out. JJ sweat dropped. "_Idiota!_"

"KURONUE!!" The prince jumped up, grabbed JJ's hand, and jumped on the oar.

"FLY!!" JJ nodded and the oar started flying away from the fangirls, who now had guns.

"Holy shit!" JJ screeched when she saw and heard guns being triggered. Kuronue looked back also.

"Oh my God!"

"What the hell?! You dumbass fangirls, Kuronue's got a princess to save! NOW LEAVE BEFORE I USE MY BLACK MAGIC ON YOUR ASSES!!" JJ yelled. They all stopped and slowly left. Kuronue blinked.

"Umm- Before you ask, no. I have no clue what black magic is, but I'm takin' a guess and saying it's evil," JJ said, cutting the prince off.

"All right... I got to ask. Why are you here?" Kuronue asked, looking straight at her. JJ shrugged.

"Want me to go?"

"Yeah..." JJ grinned.

"Aw right!" JJ jumped off of the oar and landed on her feet. Kuronue watched in awe.

"Didn't that hurt?" he asked.

"NOPE!! BYE PERCY!!" JJ turned and walked away.

"QUIT CALLING ME PERCY!!" Kuronue yelled angrily. JJ shrugged it off and then... she was gone. "Damn her- AHHH!!" Kuronue jumped off of the oar when he bumped into another tree.

"HAAAAAH!!" The prince turned and his eyes widened.

"You have gotta be fucking kidding me," he said. A fangirl jumped on him.

"KURONUE-SAMA!!" she exclaimed happily.

"Oh, get off of me," he said, shoving the girl off of him. He brushed himself off. The girl, who had long raven hair, looked teary eyed. Kuronue felt guilty.

"I'm sorry!" she bawled, burying her face in her hands. The prince sweat dropped at that sight.

"Err... Do you know where Keiko and Shishi are?" he asked the girl. She immediately cheered up.

"Yeppers! In the dark castle. You'll find it easily!" she said.

"I will?"

"Yeah! There'll be a sign outside the castle, saying 'SHISHI AND SUZUKI'S DARK, PRIVATE, SECRET CASTLE!! WE GOT COOKIES, SO BEWARE'!!" Kuronue blinked.

"All right..." He jumped on the oar and flew away. "OK, sign, sign, sign, sign, sign, sign, sign... SIGN!!" He read the first sign he saw aloud. "PIE. EATING. CONTEST. TOOOO. DAAAAY," he read slowly.

"Good. Job. Smart." Kuronue screamed like a girl. JJ blinked. "Err... Wow."

"WHAT THE HELL?!" he screeched, hyperventilating. "WHY ARE YOU HERE?!" JJ shrugged.

"I was bored, and besides, Zeus knows you need help finding your way to the dark castle."

"... Fine." JJ raised an eyebrow.

"Fine what?" Kuronue shook his head.

"Nothin'..." JJ clicked her tongue.

"All right... Oh, and turn around." Kuronue looked suspicously at her before turning. He came face-to-face with the sign that he was looking for.

"Wow! I- Percy, you better not say that you had found it. I was the one that did," JJ said cautiously, glaring at the prince. He sweat dropped.

"Fine! Bye!" He turned around and ran away from the girl. She merely blinked and left on the oar.

_"Idiota!" _she thought bitterly.

"OK, now I need to- Holy shit..." Kuronue stopped. He could easily see a huge, maroon dragon sleeping soundly. His left eye twitched.

_"Nothing's ever easy in fairytales," _he thought annoyingly. The dragon opened an eye and growled.

"H-hi, Dragon," Kuronue greeted, smiling nervously. "I'm just gonna get the princess and be on my way." The dragon growled even louder.

"I hungry," the dragon said, getting on its legs. Kuronue sweat dropped.

_"I hungry?"_

"Hey Percy!" Kuronue jumped up and grabbed the end of the oar. JJ grunted. "Lose weight!"

"Shuddup JJ!! NOW GET ME OUTTA HERE!!" JJ stuck her tongue at at him before she flew away.

"See ya, Ricky!" JJ yelled, waving at the dragon. The dragon waved back happily. Kuronue blinked in shock.

"You know that thing?"

"Yeah. Her name is Ricky," JJ said, flying up the stairs. "Oh, heads up!" Kuronue jerked his head up.

"Huh?" CLANG!! Kuronue hit his head on a pipe, let the oar go and he fell, rolling down the stairs. JJ laughed.

"I told you 'heads up'!" she reminded him. He was knocked the fuck out. She tapped him. "You OK, Percy?"

"Fuff off," he said, lying face-first into the floor. JJ tapped him, a bit harder this time.

"Hellooooo?" she said, getting annoyed.

"I said 'fuff off'," the prince said again, rubbing his head. JJ growled and kicked him. "I'm up."

"Good. Now, you need to- Bye." Kuronue stood up, his forehead sporting a bruise, and left. JJ growled.

"Hey! I was- I said 'Bye'!" Kuronue ran up the stairs and was out of eye-shot. JJ sighed loudly.

"I was gonna tell him the shortcut to the room where Keiko's stored, but I guess he can wait and take the long way." She shrugged and flew out a window. She then flew into a window that was near the tallest tower. She flew up the stairs and then, broke down a door where Keiko lay.

"Keiko! Kenya wake up?" JJ asked, poking her. No response. JJ flinched.

_"Dammit. I have to wait for Percy now. I wonder what's happening to him..."_

WITH KURONUE

Kuronue ran as fast as his legs would let him.

"OH GOD!! OH SHIT!! JJ!!" he screamed, looking back. He yelped when seeing the blonde run after him, a portable DVD player in hand. There they were... The Teletubbies.

"GET BACK HERE!!" Suzuki yelled. Kuronue took a left and immediately turned back around. Shishi had gasoline and a lighter.

"Who says we have to stay back in the day, bitch?!" Shishi asked the prince in a taunting tone, running after him.

"DAMMIT!!" Kuronue yelled, running up the stairs. The two chased him, hoping he wouldn't get to the room to wake the princess.

"Hey Percy, why- MOVE!!" Kuronue shoved JJ into the room in the tallest tower and slammed the door shut, panting.

"Uhh, Perc?"

"What?"

"You gonna wake the princess or do you wanna leave her as is?" Kuronnue looked towards the bed, where a sleeping Keiko lay.

"I'll wake her." He walked quietly over the the girl, JJ following. The two outside the door were banging the door as hard as they could.

"OPEN THIS DOOR, DAMMIT!!" Suzuki yelled, resorting to kicking. Shishi's long, blue hair got in her face, so she flicked it away.

"Dammit, Suzuki!" Shishi said, smacking her friend in the head. Suzuki groaned and left. Shishi followed him.

_"How come bad guys can't get a happily ever after?" _they both thought glumly. (lol, WATCH HAPPILY N'EVER AFTER, YOU TWO!! That's all)

"OK, how do I wake her?" Kuronue asked, examining Keiko. "Is there a switch?" JJ shrugged and thought for a fwe moments.

"Mmm... I think I said you have to- No, that's for warts..." The prince looked at the girl funny. "Ah! I remember! You have to do this." She grabbed Kuronue's hair and pushed him into Keiko's face.

"Mmm!" Kuronue yelled, kicking his legs. He was kissing Keiko, on the lips, obviously.

"Come on, wake up already!" JJ said, kicking Keiko. She immediately sat up, rubbing her eyes.

"I'm... tired..." She looked around. "Hey, where am I?" JJ sighed.

"The not-so-secret dark castle," she replied casually. "Now, you two are gonna get married. Yahtzee!" The two looked at JJ funny.

"And I can't believe I trusted you," Kuronue muttered, shaking his head.

ANOTHER TIME SKIP, AT THE WEDDING (Phew!)

JJ was wearing another dress, this time it was a blue-ish green color. Hiei was standing next to her, snickering. JJ smacked him hard in the head with the oar.

"Bastard," she said angrily. Hiei growled.

"You bit- Hiei!" Hiei sweat dropped as he whipped around.

"Yeah Prince?"

"Does black make me look fat?" JJ started laughing out loud at that.

"Oh geez!" she said between laughs. "Poor Keiko! She has to marry a girl!" Kuronue growled.

"I hate you."

"I know." Then, Keiko came out wearing a long blue dress. JJ's eye twitched.

"Yay Keiko!" Koto and Hinageshi screeched happily. JJ shook her head. The pastor started to say some stuff, but seeing as no one really cares, he got straight to the point.

"OK, Kuronue, do you- Yeah, I do." The pastor blinked.

"Errm... Keiko, do- Yep! Of course I do!" JJ and Koto chuckled. Hinageshi busted out laughing. Everyone, including JJ, turned to the girl. The redhead blinked and grinned. "Hi!" JJ sighed and pushed the pastor away.

"All right, start tongue-wrestling you two." They did.

A HALF HOUR LATER

"All right! No more kissing!" Koto said exasperately. JJ sighed.

"If you guys keep kissing, at least throw the bouquet of flowers, Keiko." Keiko just gave it to her. "Oh, come on!" All the bachelorettes sighed in defeat.

"Dammit..." they all mumbled.

"Oh, can I tell you something, Percy?" JJ asked.

"Uhh, sure. What?"

"I got you a year-long supply of gifts!" Kuronue beamed.

"You didn't have- There they are!" JJ pointed to a truck, which read **CONDOMS**. Kuronue fainted.

* * *

1 - OK, party _right _after you have a baby! Whoo! Good parenting! ¬¬

2 - She knew that was her mother? Really? Whoo...

3 - Seriously, what's the point of that? I mean, witch gets bitchy and decides to kill princess. She coulda just killed her right then and there. I woulda laughed and said, "Whoot! I loved this Disney flick! Best ending..."

4 - I actually did say that once, and I got smacked in the face with a cookie... I lol'd.

Hiei: Why is there always something with condoms at the end of each story, JJ?

Hey, you _do _know what newly-weds do on their honeymoons, right?

Hiei: ... Oh...

Exactly! And, though babies are cute, I have to admit, I'm pretty sure everyone's had their share of babies with some of my stories.

Rinku: Mmm-hmm.

Keiichi: (cries)

JIN!!

Jin: I KNOW!! T-T

And you could even end up with trips, like poor Jin and Yukina. Or even septuplets!

Rinku and Hiei: The hell is that?

Seven kids!

Rinku and Hiei: (faints)

SO TEENS THAT ARE READING THIS, BE COOL AND USE A TOOL!! ... Or I will find you. (insert dramatic music here)


End file.
